What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Previous Random Joke Next
People Jokes More People Jokes

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy?

The sky's the limit for you".

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why don't we let Google Chrome drive?

Because it crashes all the time.

What does a burnt pizza and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone that didn't take it out in time.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey?

The games take 3 months to play!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty?

The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark.

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of baseball do burgers play?

Ketchup baseball!

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.