What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

Why do people post missing person posts on Facebook?

Like we're going outside...

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie?

People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

What's the best response when someone wastes your time?

Answers below please.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing?

Because they've got the same color trunks.

What's a redneck's last words?

Hey, Watch This!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

What do you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions?

A Humblebee.

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim