Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

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How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

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What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman?

A criminal record.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

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How do Canadians say Milky Way?

Milky Eh.... Get it?

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.