Milky Way Jokes

How do Canadians say Milky Way?

Milky Eh.... Get it?

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Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry.

Why couldn't the boy look at the Milky Way?

He was galactose intolerant.

Why does the universe expand?

All the Milky Ways. You get it.

Where does a cow stop to drink?

The milky way!

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Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

Expand Jokes More Expand Jokes

What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas?

No pressure

What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman?

A criminal record.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do Catholics drink?

because they're filled with the Holy Spirit

Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

Why don't more people cook Armenian food?

Because it can be very thyme-consuming.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do cool guys never look at explosions?

Because they die in them.

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What's a Canadian Anarchist's favorite shape?

A circle, eh.

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

Why did the boy drip his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.