What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

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Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Record Jokes More Record Jokes

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol?

Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway

What type of alcohol do they put in bomb shots?

Allah-lcohol

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What's the difference between Americans and Brits?

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.

21 Year Jokes More 21 Year Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce: