Record Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space . (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What do you call a Korean with a dog?

vegetarian. For the record, I'm Korean and have a dog haha.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

How do birds record their songs ?

On duck tape !

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Who's Gotye?

while their kids were like, "What's a record

Who are you?

You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record

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What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

What's all this?

Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks . . .

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

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Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

What is Darth Vader's least favorite band?

Faith No More

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Phil Collins Jokes More Phil Collins Jokes

What's the difference between Phil Collins and Germany?

We stopped Germany.

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How do you tell the difference from a guy's chromosome and a girl's chromosome?

You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home.

What did gangster Pooh said to gangster Tigger?

Tigga please!" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately. :p

Eliminate Jokes More Eliminate Jokes

What would you call ISIS after they've been eliminated?

WASWAS.

What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use?

The Hodor-eliminating kind.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What is Bill Cosby's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Ten Roofies.

Browse Jokes More Browse Jokes

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Wanna go ride bikes? My all time favorite joke. Sorry if it has already been posted but who has the time to browse all of .

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing."

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Why did the chicken cross the 38th parallel?

Because North Korea's long range missiles can't reach that far

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend?

She refused to swallow animal by-products.

Why Latvian man did cross road?

Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.