Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning?

Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house?

Mortgage Freeman

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning?

Because she has two faces.

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)