Why don't you put an advert in the paper?

Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly he can't read!"

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What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Who is the KKK's favorite children's character ?

The White-Power Ranger I came up with this after reading a cracked article.

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What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper?

The Storm Trooper would have missed harambe

What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper?

Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too.