Why is God depressed?

Imagine...*You* Being God, the Lord, Him... But imagine us.

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God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

What do you say when God sneezes?

Go bless yourself.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.

Imagine Jokes More Imagine Jokes

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.