Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

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Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker?

In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Budget Jokes More Budget Jokes

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

What is a Budget?

A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?

Depreciation.

What's an actuary?

An accountant without the sense of humour.