Budget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

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Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

What is a Budget?

A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

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Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

How late?

Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you...

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why are birthday's good for you?

Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

What's the best part about living in Flint, Michigan?

Leaded gasoline is pretty cheep!

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted?

He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant?

Wishful thinking. Obviously

Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

How do you say constipated in german?

Farhfrumpoopin'.

What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated?

Work it out with a pencil

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work?

IBM

Why does the boss put clocks under employee's desk?

Because he wanted them to work over-time

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Who's there ! Bark ! Bark who ?

Bark you car on the drive !

Why can trains go for longer than cars?

Because cars get tyred but trains do not, with the exception of Rubber-tyred metro systems.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean when a chameleon cant change color?

Reptile - disfunction

What does it mean....?

He said, nag,nag,nag,nag!

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What did the cannibals do with the midget?

Put another shrimp on the barbie.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there