Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.
Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals
Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!
Because he might fiddle with your kids.
To help the firemen find the hydrants
