How can you tell a dog from an elephant?

The elephant remembers.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

When George Washington was a general why did he like to have dogs around?

They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common?

They are both gray except for the giraffe.

Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. You've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree? They're pretty good at it.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.