How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ?

It was a cup draw !

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary?

Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?

A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Bedtime Jokes More Bedtime Jokes

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.

When is it bedtime at the neverland ranch?

When the big hand touches the little one.