When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?

Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students?

You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!

What would you guys like to ask an American?

Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains?

Mountains peak.

What game do monsters play with humans?

Squash.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

Why did the cookie cry?

Because his mother was a wafer so long

Axe Jokes More Axe Jokes

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

O. J. Simpson Jokes More O. J. Simpson Jokes

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?

Slash slash backslash slash slash escape.