How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the dog lose the lawsuit?

It was a shih-tzu

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why can't the incredible hulk find a girlfriend?

Because all the girls know he just wants to smash

What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget?

My girlfriend

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

How Long Does It Take A Black Woman To Take A Dump?

9 months.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How does Jared like to play his flute?

In A minor.

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack