How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Who loses in a basketball game between two Vietnamese guys?

No one... its Nguyen Nguyen!

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A mat'o'gore.

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What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation fetish?

William Shat-on-her

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How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord?

A flat minor

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend