How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.

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Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road?

he missed the rains down in africa

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

Why did the fish cross the ocean?

Watching the National Geographic channel always makes me wonder how animals like fish manage to travel thousands of miles,and how they know where to go. Then I realised they can measure distances so well because they have their own scales.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.