How do you find a girl with no legs?

Follow the slime trail.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

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What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough?

Mmm. Canapes."

What's the address here?

The Pizza Hut guy can't find me.

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What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you ?

An ATM machine

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

because he wasn't a fungi!

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Why do nuns always travel in pairs?

Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!