How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Long time no sea.

How do the fish get to school ?

By octobus !

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.