How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes?

PETA

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Dinner

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

How do you tune a fish?

With its scales!