Shello
ANSWER: Straw.
00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!
Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"
Shellular*, of course...
Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.