Lobster Jokes

What's the difference between a Chinese man and a lobster under a bus?

Nothing. They're both crustacians.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do lobsters make bad lovers?

They're shellfish in bed.

What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?

Santa Claws

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish."

What's worse than lobsters on your piano?

Syphilis

What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman?

They are both crustaceans.

Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What's the difference between lobsters and crabs?

I don't lobsters!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the lobster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle.

Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

What's worse than finding a lobster on your piano?

Finding crabs on your organ.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano?

Having crabs on yer organ!

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

What was the score of the lobster soccer game?

Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls.

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.

What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid?

Gotta lay off the sea-weed.

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

You should know, you've only read it twenty times.

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

How does a lobster answer the phone?

Shello

What the hell did you expect for ten dollars?

Lobster "

What did you expect for $10?

Lobsters "

You might also enjoy:

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables?

In an American nursing home.

Where can you find a paraplegic man?

Right where you left him.

Food Poisoning Jokes More Food Poisoning Jokes

Why did the cannibal get food poisoning in India?

He ate Rameet!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Who let the boys out?

Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out ! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

Why didn't the native Americans go out to dinner?

They lost their reservations.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

The tube sock under my bed.

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

Absorb Jokes More Absorb Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

Why does our body absorb Strontium?

To make our bones stronger

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What does the zero say to the eight?

I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom?

One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.

What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk?

A mootation