How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.
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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

What are you planning on doing on MLK day?

Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why Her: I want to have dreams too

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit?

He chicken tendered his resignation.

What did Chris Christie say when asked if he had plans to run in the 2016 presidential election?

After giving it a substantial amount of thought and discussing it with my advisors, I've decided against it. I mean, I'd love to, and I appreciate those who'd support me, but I feel like I wouldn't be able to take the stress mentally- and physically." After being asked what physical stress he'd experience, he responded: "I don't think I'd be able to handle that much running."

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What'd ya call 50 n*ggers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start. P.S: N*ggers=Naggers. I hate those guys. What did you think?? )

What do you call a guy who peeps his peeps?

A homeboyeur.

Shag Jokes More Shag Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Austin Powers Jokes More Austin Powers Jokes

What is one of Austin Growlers's (the bear version of Austin Powers) most-famous catchphrases?

Oh bee !

Gag Jokes More Gag Jokes

What did Cinderella say when the got to the ball?

She didn't say anything, she just gagged.

What did Cinderella say when she reached the ball?

Nothing, she just made gagging noises

Nsfw Jokes More Nsfw Jokes