Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

What happened when Billy Mays's ghost floated into the rave?

Everyone started partying like it was $19.99.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left her house to board the Challenger space shuttle?

You feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish."

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

Bedrock Jokes More Bedrock Jokes

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !