Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.

What do conspiracy nuts do to fall asleep?

They count sheeple.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

ya'll watch this!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why are there broken condoms on the couch?

Wife: Would you please call our children by their names!

What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart"

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks?

Your girlfriend!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What, me? Lazy?

Don't get me started.

What's the difference between a sperm bank and an regular bank?

When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything