Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the pharaoh retire?

Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme

Who are you?

You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did the monkey fall of the tree?

Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? Why did the third monkey fall of the tree? Peer pressure.

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?

A laplander !

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why can't blondes count to 70?

Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

What makes the Palestinians tick?

Not counting the bombs strapped to their chests, I have no clue.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with 'D' and has two letters in it?

w

What, me? Lazy?

Don't get me started.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

What happened to Sponge Bob Square Pants when he broke up with his girlfriend?

He went back to square one....

Bedrock Jokes More Bedrock Jokes

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal?

Red, it gold.