Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with?

By giving them an oral test first. "If you can gag me, you can shag me!"

This joke may have profanity.

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What kind of ant can count?

An account*ant*.

Why are dwarfs so good at math?

Because it's the little things that count.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do they say when a woman falls over?

FULL SPEED AHEAD!" Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch v=OA8TlOsVw#t=82

How do you call a jockey falling from his horse ?

An Hippic fail.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do lesbians keep things interesting in the bedroom?

They think outside the box.

What's the first thing an Owl asks when you trow a rock at it?

HOOO did that!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do Polar Bears and Black Men have in common?

They're real cute when they are young but at a certain age they start getting scary.

Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started?

Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time?

A widow

Bedrock Jokes More Bedrock Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.