Geologist Jokes

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

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Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What do you call a geologist who can't hear?

Stone deaf...

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

Rock concerts.*

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Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

Why was the geologist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal?

Red, it gold.

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

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Sinkhole Jokes More Sinkhole Jokes

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole?

Quatro Sinco

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do you call a nerd after highschool?

Boss

Why was my boss surprised to see me screwing with the IT guy?

They said IT couldn't be done

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

When/why do feminists hate cannibals?

When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Sediment Jokes More Sediment Jokes

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

Expert Jokes More Expert Jokes

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

a lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common?

They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.