Geologist Jokes

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

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Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant?

May I have Eurasian plate?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share?

They like rock.

What do you call a geologist who can't hear?

Stone deaf...

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes?

He fell into it.

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

Rock concerts.*

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Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

Why was the geologist arrested?

He was doing crystal math.

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What did the geologist say to the Ginger after he evaluated her precious metal?

Red, it gold.

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What happened when the Pillsbury Doughboy's girlfriend was left out too long?

He had a stalemate.

Why did Lot leave his wife?

She became salty.

French Jokes More French Jokes

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a french kitchen?

Linoleum Blownapart

Whats the new French flag look like?

A white cross emblazoned on a white background!

Bedrock Jokes More Bedrock Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant?

He got crped out.

Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday?

Yellow Cake

How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday?

With a low-key event

Sediment Jokes More Sediment Jokes

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Thanks for all the sediment.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the best part about living in a black family?

You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost

How does a SQL expert get a date?

getDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)