What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What Australian city has the most cats?

Purrth.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?

Weasley twins are 50% off

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What did the pool cleaner say to the impatient swimmer?

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Wade just a minute.

How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer?

Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha.

Sneeze Jokes More Sneeze Jokes

Why did everybody where white pants at The Masters?

Dustin Johnson sneezed.

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy?

A 500 bill.

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

What am I doing with the rest of my life?

I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...