What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony :D

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

When the cat's away.....?

The house smells better !

Where do cats go on vacation?

Maui.

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

Who are the world's fastest readers?

The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute. I'm so sorry

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

What's the difference between a mixologist and a bartender?

About ten minutes.

Sneeze Jokes More Sneeze Jokes

Why don't dead people sneeze?

Because they're too busy coffin.

What does a nut say when it sneezes?

Cashew.

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

Whores does it take to change a light bulb?

If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!

How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets