What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call the parents of a cat?

His PURR-ents

How are cats like empty wine bottles?

I'm probably gonna die surrounded by both.

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What do you call a burger made from 50% beef and 50% veal?

Half Calf

Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny?

He heard little boys pants were 50% off...

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

i'm serious... help.

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

Sneeze Jokes More Sneeze Jokes

Who's there ! Bless ! Bless who ?

I didn't sneeze !

Why do sharks live in salt water?

Pepper water makes them sneeze.

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

The Indy 500.

How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb?

When this gets 500 upvotes, I'll tell you the answer.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news?

Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny

What do birds give out on Halloween?

A: Tweets.