How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

She swallowed

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you do if you're lost in an Icelandic forest?

Stand up!

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What kind of bird does not make babies?

A swallow

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

What did the scarecrow say when asked about his job?

This job isn't for everyone, but hay...it's in my jeans"

Babysitter Jokes More Babysitter Jokes

Why is it hard for Arab men to have a guy's night out?

They have to find babysitters for their wives.

Who's yours?

Me: The babysitter

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error