Why was the programmer unhappy at his job?

He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out.

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What do French people say when they don't want to see someone ever again?

Au nevoir.

What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway?

I don't want to plow my driveway

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How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None that's a hardware problem

Why do programmers drink coffee so much?

So they aren't lying when they say they like Java.

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What makes the scarecrow so good at his job?

He's outstanding in his field

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?

Because he went crackers.

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What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ?

Gnus - readers !

What sort of transport does a sheep use?

A ewe-nicycle