Why was the programmer unhappy at his job?

He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why was the programmer lonely?

Off-by-one error. :(

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

What's the difference between a group of snowboarders and lifties (lift attendants)?

The lift attendants have jobs.

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Who do you think I am?

Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.