How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Where do I start cleaning!?

5mins later* Me: I need a new room.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Which one will fall off first?

The one with the smaller mu.

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

Shag Jokes More Shag Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.