How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof?

If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors.

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Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane?

So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What N word do you not want to call a black man?

Neighbor

Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?

sigh "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." bathrobe sags dejectedly

Tin Roof Jokes More Tin Roof Jokes

How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof?

If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors.

What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane?

If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor