How long does it take To microwave a baby?

I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer.

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Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog?

An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What do you get if you microwave welsh horse crap?

PooptyPong.

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Timer Jokes More Timer Jokes

How long does it take To microwave a baby?

I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer.

Why did the traitor wear two watches?

Because he's a two timer.