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One.
A lightbulb.
Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)
It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word "screw" is.
AU GUYS!!!
Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too.
A blind guy with a rubix cube
Give me the gif of it.