How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

How much did the cannibal pay for his new sports car?

I don't know but I heard it cost him an arm and a leg.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What would be Jesus' favorite gun?

A nail gun

What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?

Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Who could that be?

It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...

What is the difference between a Black Guy and an elevator ?

One can raise a child