How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

What do you call a turkey with no arms?

a turkey

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the Melon King say to the two young melons in love?

They can't-elope.

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

Why did the doorman get a raise?

He was always out standing.