How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the cookie visit the doctor?

He was feeling a little crummy.

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Why is a doctor always calm?

He got a lot of patients

Doc Jokes More Doc Jokes

How did my operation go Doc?

Dr What Dr Omg I've only got half a colon

How bad is it, Doctor?

Doc: Damn it I told you I'm a mine worker not a doctor. It's my name, idiot