Why is a doctor always calm?

He got a lot of patients

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call a lamington that weighs a lot?

A lamingTON!

Why did the Computer Engineer retire young?

He had a lot of cache.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!"

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."