What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100?

I'd say it's fifty fifty

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Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

Why did the walrus go to the container store?

To find a tight seal.

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What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services?

9-1-2001

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

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Why do all The Hunger Games fans can't even?

The odds are ever in their favours.

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

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What happens in a chinese restaurant when the power goes out?

It'll dim sum

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.