What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people?

tattoo master

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?

Polly wants a firecracker!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL

Where in New York City do lesbians most like to live?

Manhatin'

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

Why are blondes hurt by people's words?

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.