What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What would you do if you broke your arm in two places?

Vanderkron: I wouldn't go to these places no more!

What does the future hold?

Global warming, depleted resources, & species going extinct. But also the iPhone 5, so it's break even.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

What does a cow call his girlfriend?

His significant udder.

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

Celery Jokes More Celery Jokes

Who's there ! Celery ! Celery who ?

Celery me you lunch will you I'm hungry !

What looks like celery, tastes like celery, but isnt celery?

Artificial celery