What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What do paper towels call their family?

NapKIN

What is the hardest thing to do after starting a family?

Ending them.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did the angel say when he saw God make the element Phosphorus?

It's a match made in Heaven!

Why There is No Readhead in Hell ?

God does not punish twice.