What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

How did the wasps take that news?

God: Err...