What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

Joint Family.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why does God love atheists?

Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!