What did the hat say to the tie?

You hang around. I'll go on a head.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

What's pink and wrinkled and hangs out your undies?

Your grandma.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.

Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?

A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent."

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

Hat Jokes More Hat Jokes

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?

You know you need a psychiatrist!

How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug?

Tell them to take off their hats