What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

Why do cows need four legs to walk?

Because they lactose. Moo

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

Corpse Jokes More Corpse Jokes

What is the one thing you shouldn't do at a funeral?

The corpse.

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.