What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

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Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

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What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room?

You made the chain too long in the kitchen.

How do you fix a womans watch?

You dont. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

Why will the ghost never succeed in life?

He's too eeriesponsible!!!!

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What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

Where do French lawyers like to relax?

The J'accusi