What do you call a burning Bible?

Holy smokes.

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How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

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How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

When is the Bible accurate?

When it's thrown from a short distance.

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What did they priest say when he got censered?

Holy smoke!

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.