What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What do you call an astronaut that doesn't like being touched?

A personal space man

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common?

Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty.

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's