What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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When is bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their parents?

roommates

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

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What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.