What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?

When your nose touches the ceiling !

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Which is Bernie Sanders' dominant hand?

His left one

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.