Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

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Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Coat Jokes More Coat Jokes

How does Samsung know its most loyal customers?

They check with the burn ward. (I'll get my coat)

What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels?

A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

When is it time for bed at the Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral?

He touched a lot of people.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Which Doctor would you like to see?

Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.

Tic Tac Jokes More Tic Tac Jokes

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

What's a tick's favorite food?

A tic tac

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?

Because she wanted to rock and roll.

What caused Captain Morgan's shipwreck?

He was on the rocks.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?

A sheep that can round itself up !

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What should a teacher take if he's run down?

The number of the car that hit him.

Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics ?

Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US.

Smooth Operator Jokes More Smooth Operator Jokes

What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?

A smooth operator!

How can I direct your call, babygirl?

Smooth Operator