Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

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Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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Smooth Operator Jokes More Smooth Operator Jokes

How can I direct your call, babygirl?

Smooth Operator

What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?

A smooth operator!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What does the beginning of the German alphabet start with?

Not Z.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

Sea Lion Jokes More Sea Lion Jokes

Who is a Sea Lion's favorite composer?

Orff Orff Orff Orff!"

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Bob Ross not use a condom?

Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents.

What do you use to buy drinks?

Bar tender

Pedi File Jokes More Pedi File Jokes

What do you call data on a Pediatricians computer?

Pedi-files

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

How do you turn a Fox into a Pit Bull?

Marry her !

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What has 4308 eyes, 28957 legs, and 398503 teeth?

I don't know, but if you see it, RUN!

What's the definition of a redneck virgin?

A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers.

Dig Jokes More Dig Jokes

What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand?

Bury-toes. Hah hah

How do you know when the hole you're digging is big enough?

When the (w)hole job's done.