Dig Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

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Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What do you call a dog who digs for bones?

A Bark-aeologist

What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria?

Make way, children.

Why is the archaeologist depressed?

Some old stuff just got dug up

Where is your wife ?

In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.

What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches?

A paracetamole!

What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper?

Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing."

How do you know ancient Egyptians were black?

Because they never dig up daddies.

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

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How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto?

It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.

What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?

Digging for booty.

What do you call a dog who digs up ancient artifacts?

A Barkeologist.

How do you trap an elephant?

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up.

What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand?

Bury-toes. Hah hah

What do you call a dog who digs up dinosaur bones?

A Barkaeologist.

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What do you call a child that's good at digging?

A minor

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

Why didn't British explorers dig latrines?

They had pith helmets.

How do you know when the hole you're digging is big enough?

When the (w)hole job's done.

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?

Take his spade away.

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What kind of wine does ISIS drink?

White Infidel.

What kind of batteries do stuttering Canadians use?

Triple Eh's.

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What do you call a group of nit picky redditors?

A headache.

How do you give a quadriplegic a headache?

Ask him to hold open the elevator door

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?

Daddy.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What stopped winter from coming?

Winterfell and it can't get up.

Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you make any woman wet?

Liquor

What do you call a women who cant draw?

Trace

Mole Jokes More Mole Jokes

What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria?

Make way, children.

What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?

A mole

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

He likes to keep things low key.

What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun?

Recoil

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Beyonce and a shopping bag?

A shopping bag can carry a child.

What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

A: It's all in the grip.