Past Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What does a cranky Japanese person suffer from?

PAST: Post Atomic Stress Disorder

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

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Ethiopian Jokes More Ethiopian Jokes

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal ... The ethiopian chasing it.

What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common?

They both have flies on them.

Sneak Jokes More Sneak Jokes

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Past Tent Jokes More Past Tent Jokes

Why is it impossible to run through a campground?

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What should you do with a burning Kotex?

Throw it on the ground and tamp on it.

What happened to the baseball played who was unfaithful to his wife?

He was thrown out at home. - His two balls got a strike.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

Race Car Jokes More Race Car Jokes

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

Sunny Day Jokes More Sunny Day Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

Paste Jokes More Paste Jokes

What do you call a fly without wings?

Paste unoriginal joke here)

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..