Past Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

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Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What does a cranky Japanese person suffer from?

PAST: Post Atomic Stress Disorder

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

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Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

When does karaoke start?

Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.

What do you call a swashbuckler when he noticed you?

A senpairate.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do bees do if they don't want to drive?

A: Wait at the buzz stop.

What are you planning on doing on MLK day?

Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: ...Why Her: I want to have dreams too

Wing Jokes More Wing Jokes

What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs?

Two chickens and a goat.

Why is it never a good idea to use a Chinese phone book?

There are so many Wings and Wongs, you might wing a wong number.

Race Car Jokes More Race Car Jokes

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

What did the black man get for his son on christmas?

Your bike.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Why did the rooster run away ?

He was chicken !

Dig Jokes More Dig Jokes

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

Why didn't British explorers dig latrines?

They had pith helmets.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's the wheel for?

The pirate replies, "Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"