Past Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

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Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What does a cranky Japanese person suffer from?

PAST: Post Atomic Stress Disorder

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

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Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What are we supposed to do about it?

Dad replies: "I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."

How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What's even more impressive than a talking dog ?

A spelling bee!

Why is everyone talking about me?

They seem mad..." -Temp worker at Foot Locker

Tin Jokes More Tin Jokes

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !

What is it called when you throw a tin can into a recycling bin?

A recycling TIN!

Tin Opener Jokes More Tin Opener Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ?

He had a bee in his suit of armour !

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

Why do seagulls fly by the sea?

Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels.

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

Why could Frankenstein's Monster not have children?

Because his nuts were in his neck!

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Where do children learn their ABC's ?

At LMN-tary school !

What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance?

The clam before the storm!

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Who just threw that?

Boy: "Me. I'm going home now."

What the hell is this?

Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!