What do you say to an alien with two heads?

Hello. Hello.

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What did the alien say to Franz Schubert?

Take me to your lieder!"

What do you call an alien from Austria?

Austalian

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How did he do that?

I dropped it on his head.

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

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What kind of computer says "Hello"?

A Dell

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

You wave hello!