What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

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What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife?

Who are you

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

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Why was the Redditor mad at Reddit?

Because it made her wait seven minutes before posting something.

How do you keep idiots waiting?

I'll tell you later

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When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

Why accountants don't read novels?

Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

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What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.