What does an unborn fetus and a tube of toothpaste have in common?

Neither of them can be used as functional tables.

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Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

Why do humans mainly use the decimal number system?

It's just what we tend to do

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What's long and hard and full of seamen?

The tube sock under my bed.

What do you call a tube with a degree?

A graduated cylinder.

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Who else does this?

1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.