What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?

Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

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What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs "

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What do Canadians drink when the beer is all gone?

Hard eh.

How was the Irish Jig invented?

To much beer and not enough bathrooms

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What do people at the Genius Bar drink from?

Einsteins

What did Einstein say when he was pulled over for speeding?

Speed is relative, officer."