What happened when Helium told a joke?

There was no reaction

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What happens to a drunk vampire?

They get a fangover.

What happened to the egg when it heard the joke?

It cracked.

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How can you tell who the head doctor is?

They're the one with the dirtiest knees

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

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What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

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Why did the chemist never say "NO" to anything?

Because the reaction could be explosive.

Why do chemists love bad jokes?

Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions

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Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements?

A: Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!

What do you with a dying chemist?

Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!